i swear i’d dress better but i’m poor and fat

(via noo-interruption)


If someone ever tells you to go fuck yourself just politely respond with “after you”

(via continent-deactivated20140529)


HELP, i won ANOTHER free ipad! i had to kick my son out of the house to fill his room with all the ipads. i’m running out of space to put them. why must i be the one to spot the difference 90% of people can’t? why was i the chosen one

(via damn-funny)